


Fact: you never really lost yourself

by CallieCatt100



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Acromantulas, Battle of Hogwarts, Hope you like it!, Minor Luna Lovegood/Ginny Weasley, My First Fanfic, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Canon, Tags Are Hard, Tags May Change, a lil newt scamander cameo, and ginny helps her find herself again, hermione has advice, idk how to tag, lil bit of muggle world, luna looses herself, molly is an amazing mom, platonic linny, weasley family is great
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-19
Updated: 2017-09-19
Packaged: 2018-12-31 12:09:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12132195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CallieCatt100/pseuds/CallieCatt100
Summary: In the second wizarding war, Luna looses her father, and with him her innocence, curiosity, and in that, herself. As she struggles again to find herself through friends, some time in the muggle world, and rediscovery, she finds a new version of herself and comes to realize that whether or not what you believe is true, faith is the thing holding us all together and sometimes a belief in the impossible is just what you need.





	Fact: you never really lost yourself

**Author's Note:**

> Hey all! if you're reading this, thank you so so so much! this is honestly my first time ever actually putting up a fic I wrote, and I'm really nervous. This is my first time writing Luna, so we may get off on a semi-rocky start, but I've got plans for her! also, thanks so much to my wonderful betas, @EpicJet82 who is one of my best friends irl and has been helping me a lot with the editing of this, and my other amazing friend who doesn't have an account here, yet still proofread for me, and helped with my plot building and future arc. thanks guys! now, i guess I'll shut up and let you read.

This wasn’t Hogwarts. She knew hogwarts. She knew all the little places, the corridors where nargles normally lurked, the corners of the forest full of centaurs, the grove where the bowtrukles ruled a tree, the clearing where the thestrals lived.

Hogwarts wasn’t full of darkness. Hogwarts wasn’t full of death, of spells, greens, reds, blues, every color of death, shooting through the thick night air. Hogwarts, well Hogwarts was a home, a safe place for everyone, for everything. Hogwarts wasn’t rubble, piled high up the walls, angered shouts of spells spinning and echoing through the defeated castle walls. Hogwarts wasn’t the heartbreaking cries of family, lovers, friends, even enemies seen falling, slouched in death. Hogwarts was supposed to be safe.

But, then again, now nowhere was safe. With Voldemort ruling, yet still hidden in the metaphorical shadows, everywhere was laced with people no one could trust. Even Hogwarts now. Luna’s own father was gone too, taken to Azkaban by the Death Eaters. Why? Because he believed. Xenophilius Lovegood, editor of the Quibbler, believer of what even wizards qualified as impossible, put in Azkaban for thought. Luna knew the consequences of believing, having been taken as well, snatched off the Hogwarts Express after break to be used as leverage, being forced to live in that dark basement until Dobby, (and the trio, she thought), came to her rescue. She still mourned for that little elf.

The battle raged around her. To her right, a fellow D.A. member, whose name she couldn’t remember in the heat of battle, shot quickfire charms and hexes at a masked Death Eater who responded with equal vigor, shouting curses with rapid fire precision. To her left, the Creevey brothers battled Lucius, but were being quickly overcome by the more powerful wizard. With a start, Luna came to her senses, jumping into the battle to join them. _Alarte Ascendare! Bombarda! Confringo!_ She was using every spell, charm, hex or curse that she knew that could destroy him. But Luna was too late. With a slight smirk in a very Malfoy way, a flash of green light shot at Dennis. Collin, bloody and bruised but still with the ingrained need to protect, leapt in front of the ray, and with a shriek fell to the ground, eyes staring blankly into the night. The few short seconds that followed were torcherous, Dennis crumpling to the ground next to his brother with a scream and a sob, Luna leaping up to chase after Lucius, to make him pay, but stopped by a small sound.

“No. stay. Please, Luna... stay.”

Luna turned around, looking at the two small Gryffindor boys on the ground, in what had to be the saddest huddle she’d ever seen. One, barely older than a child, not much younger than herself, lying awkwardly on the ground. His scarlet Gryffindor robes were stained with blood, mousy brown hair clumped heavily with it. The other, still a child, crouched over him, convulsing with sobs. It was a sight she never ever wished to have to witness again. Many felt the same that day, with scenes similar to this spread across the ground. So many young lives lost, but still with so much darkness left to conquer.

“I’m so sorry, Dennis. I wish I could stay, but there’s still so much to be done,” Luna uttered the words in a barely audible whisper, kneeling next to the young boy, slowly rubbing his back.

“There are still so many battles to be fought. Too much. Too much… Darkness, why?” a small whisper came from Dennis, muffled by the body he was clinging to.

“I must go. Come on, let’s get you to the great hall now. I’m so so sorry,” She repeated, beginning to stand up, grabbing the boy’s hand.

With a snap, he pulled it back. Luna could feel his magic, powerful in his sorrow and anger, tinting the air with an electric ozone touch. Lurching around to face Luna, his face told a story of loss, death, anger and revenge. Standing quickly, she slowly backed away, tightly holding her wand hidden up her sleeve.

“Hey. Hey. Ok. It’s alright. You can stay, but I need t’go. Again, I’m so sorry. He was so young.” she spoke quietly, using that voice she used on nervous animals, sweet and quiet, magically calming. Dennis fell back to his knees, clutching his brother’s robes in his fists, wand thrown carelessly to the ground.

“You stay, but may I suggest you keep your wand at the ready?” Luna asked quietly, handing Dennis his wand, and casting a shield charm around the boys before slowly walking back to the castle, the distant shouts of curses beginning to ring through the air again.

She ended up in a courtyard, if you could still call it that. Some heavy curse had blown one of the cornered walls off, opening it up on two sides, rubble piled high everywhere. Professors, recent alumni, students and Order of the Phoenix members alike were everywhere, fighting for their lives. Witches and wizards grouped together in familiar groups of friends and families, mirroring each other's moves as if they had fought together most of their lives, many which probably had. Seeing former housemate and D.A. member Cho Chang fighting alongside Oliver Wood, and most of the original Gryffindor quidditch team, shooting spells with skill and precision while protecting each other’s blind spots. Darting spells, making her way over to the group, she broke the news.

“Hey! Oliver! Cho! Katie! Angelina! Over here!” Luna called, catching the group’s attention. “I’m super sorry to have to be the one to tell you, but Colin, you know, the 6th year Gryffindor with a Harry obsession? Lucius got him.”

Without missing a beat, or taking his focus from the dark-robed death eater he was fighting, Oliver seemed to be the only one with any response to the news in the heat of the battle.

“Where?” he asked quietly to Luna. “His brother, Denis, is he with him still?” Luna nodded sadly.

“That way,” she gestured with her wand to the grounds north of the courtyard, “And yes. I tried to get him to come to the Great Hall, but he honestly couldn’t. Almost had a burst of accidental magic. I know exactly how he’s feeling, he needs some time and support, but we don't have any of that right now.” She said sadly, thinking of her mother, and her father, hoping for his safety. He was the only real family Luna had left.

Turning away from the duel, Oliver started walking the direction she’d pointed.

“Luna, you showing me where the kid is or not?” he asked sharply, spinning around on his heels to face her.

“Oh, yeah ok,” she said dreamily, snapping out of her thoughts.

The two walked in silence towards the younger students, and Luna honestly couldn’t blame Oliver for the lack of conversation. The battle had only just begun, but it had been a long night for everyone. Approaching the bubble of shield charm, the Gryffindors were exactly like she had left them, Collin still undoubtedly dead, Denis still petrified. From his face, you could tell reality was really sinking in. His brother was forever gone.

Breaking the shield charm with a quickly muttered countercurse, (Wow. She should’ve known it would be that easy to break that simple a spell. At least it was Oliver, not a Death Eater), Oliver reached down and gently pried the young boy away from his brother. Lifting both of the over his shoulders, he began slowly trudging through the debris towards the castle.

As Luna approached the castle gateway, a dark form darted from the shadows of the rubble, laughing maniacally to themselves. Luna raised her wand, pointing to the shadows, but she was to slow. A curse quickly hit her to the ground, crashing into her like a high-speed train. She felt herself falling, falling, falling, then hitting the ground in a slow blur of motion, her long blond hair flying in front of her mouth. Whoever cursed had set a full-body lock on her, so she was unable to brush the hair from her eyes.

But, she didn’t need to. The figure stepped out of the shadows, her form silhouetted in the lantern light from the castle. Stepping over Luna’s stuck body, she leaned down, brushing Luna’s hair from her face. The witch’s figure, now fully visible to Luna leered over her. It was Bellatrix, in full battle glory, frizzy hair tied back loosely, bent wand poised and pointed at Luna’s throat, angular face barely inches from Luna’s own.

“Now. that’s better.” Bellatrix muttered in a sickly sing-song voice, the kind of voice that purely toys with you.

“I like to play with my food before I eat it,” She laughed, cocking her head arrogantly. “Now, I want to make you scream. I want you to be able to see me when I kill you. But first, some fun,” Bellatrix’s crooning voice filled Luna’s already panicked mind, sending it into an unfamiliar overload. Luna could feel the woman’s breath, sickly and cool on her neck as the witch muttered quietly into her ear.

“Now, I know for a little fact you got no one left in this world for you, little Luna, loony little Lovegood. Why don’t you go ahead and die, just like your weak little daddy did, oh, but not before someone gave him a special little kiss. Oh? You didn’t know? YOUR DADDY’S DEAD, YOU LITTLE BLOOD DISGRACE, FAIRYTALE BELIEVER.”

 _Your daddy’s dead. Your daddy’s dead._ With those words, Luna felt something, some screw or board or something inside her, something she needs, break. Almost like a wall crumbling to dust, letting go a dam of emotions, she felt a flood of thoughts, of worst-case-scenarios come true flood her already flooded and frenzied mind.

Bellatrix, still standing above her, saw the contortion of emotion, the visible pain of thoughts, cloud Luna’s face, started cackling evilly. She settled her wand, still poised at Luna’s throat, and re-adjusted her torture.

“Now. I want to hear your screams. I wonder, will you sound like your dad did, when the dementor approached him, or will you sound like your mum did, when the spell backfired. Yes honey, oh I know all about that. Ya know, did I ever tell you that I was the one who slipped your momma that note, the one with the spell that killed her?” Seeing the shock and horror spread over Luna’s face triggered another fit of evil giggles.

“Oh, guess I forgot about that one. Oopsys. Well, SHE’S DEAD. THEY’RE ALL DEAD, YOU HAVE NO FAMILY. COME ON SWEETY, ACCEPT IT! YOU. ARE. ALONE! THERE IS NO ONE LEFT TO LOVE YOU!”

With that, Luna succumbed to the spell, not of magic, but of the treacherous words. She could feel Bellatrix’s voice, shrill and breathy, repeating over and over, becoming part of her being. Just the thought of what she was saying, and the way Luna could tell it was the truth, said just to hurt her, seeped into her like a punch to the gut. Everyone was gone. Luna’s mental facade of calm fell with a crash, the truth puncturing her. At that, her shrill scream met the cold night air.

“Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes Yes. There we go, come on honey, SCREAM! I WANT TO HEAR YOU CRY WHILE I KILL YOU,” Bellatrix shouted triumphantly, leering at the girl locked to the ground. Jabbing her wand at Luna’s throat, she began to mutter.

“Avad…” A flash of gryffindor-scarlet colored red knocked the black-clad witch off. Instead of Bellatrix, standing over Luna was the youngest Weasley child, clad in a bright gryffindor jumper, contrasting greatly from the dark night.

“Luna! Merlin’s boxers, what happened to you?” Ginny whispered, quickly uttering the countercurse, freeing Luna from the ground.

“Bellatrix.... Da… Mum? Dead?” Luna murmured distractedly, coming to her senses and slowly moving off the ground.

“Battle of Hogwarts, Harry defeating Vol… well, you know who, we’re fighting, ya just got smacked pretty hard by Lestrange? Any of that ringing a bell Luna?” Ginny asked, crouched next to the quite girl.

Ginny didn’t see it. But Luna did. Startling, and sitting up, she gasped.

“Gin! Duck! Spell!” she gasped, pulling the other girl back to the ground with her. A bolt of green light shot past the girl’s heads as the hunkered into the ground. Bellatrix, back in all her glory, sauntered over to the two witches on the ground.

“Ahh! A Weasley. How nice. Blood traitor.” she spat, sneering at Ginny. “What? Is it my birthday? I’ve got two little brats too kill now!” Bellatrix crooned at the girls, a look of pure murder glinting in her dark eyes. “Welp, I’ve got others to kill, and I’ve killed you…” she flung her wand in Luna’s direction, “internally. I could go with the ol’ crucio on you, dear,” she spun around to face Ginny, “but what’s the fun in that. I need to get going, so if you would be so kind to turn over here, I’d prefer to see your face when the spell hits you.”

Coming to her senses, Ginny pushed a broken Luna on too the rubble behind her, while quickly snatching her wand from her back pocket. Stepping into a defencive stance, she faced the older witch.

“If you’re gonna kill me, I’m gonna go down fighting.” she fired, spinning around. _Expelliarmus! PROTEGO!_ Ginny cast the spells quickly, spinning to protect her friend still crouched in the wall’s rubble behind her.

“Oh, little girl, you want to play? Well, let’s do this the right way,” Bellatrix sneered angrily, breath hissing on the vowels. Spinning around to match stance with Ginny, she began to shout a rapid fire progression of spells.

Ginny was working her hardest, firing shields in every direction, but Bellatrix was gaining ground. Around 2 yards away from the Gryffindor, a shout rose from behind her.

“NOT MY DAUGHTER, YOU BIT…” an older witch came running from the behind Luna, her sweater trailing out behind her as she ran, red hair windblown, with an ozone-y sense of power illuminating from her. shooting a spell at Bellatrix, she hit her straight in the chest, freezing her in one last moment, a surprised sneer captured in her final moment, like a polaroid picture. Suspended in mid air for a split second, the scene seemed to play out in slow motion. Like an old statue crumbling, the woman began to crack, shattering into a pile of rubble, one last ghastly scream echoing through the night.

“GINERVA MOLLY WEASLEY. WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!? DID I NOT, CLEARLY, TELL YOU YOU WERE TO STAY IN HOGSMEADE, TO STAY OUT OF THE BATTLE? WE’VE ALREADY LOST FRE.... oh. You don’t know yet.” Ms. Weasley looked sadly at her youngest, the anger and fear in her voice melting into sorrow.

Ginny stared up at her mum owl eyed. “Fre… Fred?” she asked quietly. “He, he wasn’t, He wasn't killed, was he?” She stammered, her voice laced with poisoned anger and sadness.

“I’m, I’m so sorry.” Mrs. Weasley nodded, reaching out towards her daughter. “We lost Fred.”

At that, Ginny broke down like her friend, her mother holding her close, a perfect picture of war and fear and the love of a mother, fearfully clutching her daughter in the midst of a sea of death and destruction. No one noticed Luna, curled, cat-like, into a corner at the top of the corner of the pile, quietly broken, picking at a loose string on her pale blue cardigan.

It was true. There was no one left for her.


End file.
